Friday, April 22, 2005

$35 Billion In Cash But No Tech Support

Microsoft is stuck in a rut.

Don’t get me wrong: it is an extremely profitable rut. But it is a rut all the same.

Right now, for example, I am typing the draft of this blog on a Microsoft Word program that came with the Microsoft Operating System that came with my Sony notebook.

The only reason I use Word is that Microsoft has a monopoly on operating systems, and you can’t buy a regular old personal computer that doesn’t come with Microsoft software, which is too bad, because Microsoft software is terrible.

By that I don’t mean it doesn’t work, it's just that because Microsoft has a monopoly and sells Microsoft Word to everyone who uses a computer, Word is crammed with every single thing everyone who uses a computer might need, like "Palatino Linotype" fonts.

Which makes Word less like something a really creative software company invented, and more like something the old Phone Company would have come up with.

For example, there are more than 30 little buttons in the “Tool Bar” at the top of this version of Word, each with a symbol so that writers can merely click a button to accomplish a task. “Tool Bars” are cool, helpful devices that took some of the mystery out of using word processing programs, and I am pretty sure Microsoft did not invent them.

Microsoft was not ever in the business of inventing cool, helpful things. Microsoft saw other companies come out with cool, helpful things—like spreadsheets and word processors and calculators and databases and the “graphical user interface” itself—and copied them like Chinese companies copy American technology without ever paying for it and sell it for an impossibly low price.

When you have a monopoly—whether it's a country or a software developer—you can do that sort of thing.

In any event, some of the symbols on my Microsoft Word “Tool Bar” are easy to grasp, like the little icon of the floppy disk, which is clearly the “save” button.

Others are not so easy to grasp, such as the little greenish circle that looks sort of like the earth, only it has a chain beneath it. I am thinking this is the symbol of Microsoft owning the world monopoly on desktop computer software—millions of shlubs all around the world, chained to software that offers Palatino Linotype fonts and eighteen-zillion different ways to format text….but if you accidentally hit the ‘insert’ button you will type over things you’ve already written.

The most ridiculous part of the ‘insert’ button is that the only time I type over things I’ve already written is when I’ve accidentally hit the ‘insert’ button.

If Microsoft had the monopoly on car engines, I suspect there would be a dashboard button with some fancy symbol on it, which, if you pressed it by mistake, would instantly stop and restart your car engine, even if you were doing 80 miles an hour on Interstate 95.

And the only time you would ever know you had a function like that for your car is when you accidentally pressed the ‘restart engine’ button, right in the middle of Interstate 95.

But I digress.

After I finish writing this in Word, I will then copy it onto my Blogger Dashboard, which is Google’s blogging service. Google provides the blogging service for free.

Unlike Microsoft software, Google's blogger is actually as simple to use as it says it is. And furthermore, unlike Microsoft software, when you have a problem with the Google blogger and you send an email to the Google Blogger Help Desk, somebody actually responds.

I had a problem with the Microsoft Network email last year. It was not the first time I ever had a problem with it, but it was an unusually bad problem: nobody was getting my emails. When the problem went away after a day or two, I emailed the unhelpful Microsoft Help Desk, and received an email saying they couldn't help me two months later.

I am not making that up.

So here we have two companies whose products I use every day:

1. Microsoft, whose motto could be "$35 Billion In Cash But No Tech Support," which makes overengineered NASA-type products, and charges monopoly pricing to people who have no other choice.

2. Google, which gives away searches, maps, blogging tools, satellite images...and offers tech support to boot.


Which is a better business?

Before you answer, consider this: Microsoft only gets paid once when somebody buys a computer. It’s a lot of money, and it’s at obscene profit margins—monopolies being what they are. But it’s still only once in the life of that computer.

Google, on the other hand, has a chance to get paid every second of every minute of every day by somebody somewhere using the Internet who clicks on an ad Google has placed on one of those searches or maps or satellite images or blogs you have used. It’s a tiny piece of change, not being monopolistically priced operating system software. But the pennies add up. (Last week's earnings report showed just how quickly those pennies are adding up for Google.)

And I will bet money that right now every half-smart Microsoft employee is thinking “Who needs this Fixing-Longhorn-Bug-Number-19,852 nonsense when I could be creating something really cool—like Google Maps...for a company with a future instead of a past?”

And since Gates can never duplicate Google and roll out a copy at a lower cost to the user like he did all those tool bars and spread sheets and GUIs—because Google is free—he can’t stop it.

Because Google is the future.

And Microsoft is the past.

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

7 comments:

Bob Crites said...

You have choices. The most obviouus is Macintosh. That's where I have hung out for years. No bugs. No virri. No spam. Just elegant software and hardware that works.

Michael Comeau said...

There is an alternative and it is 100% free. www.openoffice.org is a very appealing alternative to Office, ESPECIALLY its word processing program. The spreadsheet program needs some polish, but the word processing programs is better than Microsft Word.

whybothernotallowinganonymous said...

"The only reason I use Word is that Microsoft has a monopoly on operating systems, and you can’t buy a regular old personal computer that doesn’t come with Microsoft software, which is too bad, because Microsoft software is terrible."

Wow you're pathetic. You think you know stuff (and you may), but you're amazingly ignorant as well (and you show it).

You do realize that "regular old personal computers" were created by Microsoft right? Software and hardware are symbiotic, if Billy and Paul hadn't coded up a nice little way of interacting with circuits on a small scale, you would only be imagining the concept of a "desktop computer", instead of owning one.

With that said... you actually CAN buy a computer without Microsoft software on it. Like bob crites said, you can go with one of the many other alternatives, or even just BUILD your own box and put whatever you want on it. This of course requires the knowledge and desire to do so, which you probably don't have, which unfortunately leads you to say something as retarded as "you can’t buy a regular old personal computer that doesn’t come with Microsoft software". God, that's just a stupid thing to say. It significantly dilutes your credibility of knowing anything relevant.

And that leads us to the last sentence... "Microsoft software is terrible." Jesus. Anyone who actually believes that (yes, anyone) is clueless and/or just plain dumb. You probably couldn't name half a dozen Microsoft programs outside of Windows and Office, yet you say something like that!? I'm not going to educate you other than to let you know you are wrong. It's sad really that you criticize and judge things that you obviously don't understand. What a terrible paragraph you wrote huh?

Also, as far as Google goes, do you really think that they will remain on top very long? 3 years ago Google was relatively nothing, yet you're going to pretend to know what will happen 3 years from now? I may be able to guess at something like that... but you? Go back to using your lame $700 computer that you don't understand and dislike. We're all laughing at you.

Oh and bob... "No bugs. No virri. No spam"... that's a nice little bubble you have there moron. Don't try to understand that more users and more sophisticated applications equals more potential problems because if you did, your fantasy world of one-button mice and pretty icons might crash down on you.

I've only read this site twice. And never again.

Eric

bpl1000 said...

uh, Eric, "regular old personal computers" were invented by IBM. And, regular old DOS also was invented by IBM. Ironic, how IBM has very little to do with both businesses as of today...

That said, I would also have to say my life is hard to imagine with Microsoft products.

whybothernotallowinganonymous said...

uh, bpl1000, "regular old personal computers" were created by IBM because Microsoft first wrote BASIC for the Altair (the birth of the PC) which to them was a proof of concept.

And "regular old DOS" was actually MS-DOS (based off of QDOS) which Microsoft wrote FOR IBM.

IBM has never had or made anything in the personal computing world before Microsoft made it possible.

This site is obviously a haven for the misinformed and i won't be a part of it.

bpl1000 said...

At least we now both agree that MSFT did NOT create the first computer. I'm not sure why you give a hoot who made the first computer other than to prove that you're not stupid, which you haven't done.

Sam (You know who I am) said...

WORD