Friday, December 28, 2007

1001 Books You Must Buy Before You Die

Anybody else getting a little tired of the publishing world’s latest infatuation—those books identifying “1001 [insert task here] You Must Do Before You Die”?

Here’s a list of actual such book titles, and I am not making them up:

1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die

1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die

1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die

1001 Paintings You Must See Before You Die

1001 Buildings You Must See Before You Die

1001 Ankle Bracelets You Must Wear Before You Die

Actually, I made up the last one, but you get the idea.

The idea is that we must see “Batman: The Movie,” listen to Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” and read pretty much everything ever written by Phillip Roth, before we die, or else.

Personally, I'd rather watch a movie of Phillip Roth singing "Baby One More Time" than do any of those other things, but that's just me.

What will happen to those who don’t accomplish all these 1001 "musts" is not clear, but should a normal mortal ever in fact take the title commandments at face value, they would clearly have very little time left for anything else in their lives, let alone buying the stupid books in the first place.

Rather than requiring us to perform only selfish acts—reading books and listening to albums and watching movies—why not make the required acts a little more socially relevant and easier to accomplish?

1001 Politicians to Avoid Before You Die, perhaps?

Other suggestions are welcome!

Jeff Matthews
I Am Not Making This Up

© 2007 NotMakingThisUp, LLC

The content contained in this blog represents the opinions of Mr. Matthews. Mr. Matthews also acts as an advisor and clients advised by Mr. Matthews may hold either long or short positions in securities of various companies discussed in the blog based upon Mr. Matthews' recommendations. This commentary in no way constitutes investment advice, nor is it a solicitation of business in any way. It is intended solely for the entertainment of the reader, and the author.


BelowTheCrowd said...

Well, how about the obvious?

1001 Securities Analysts to Ignore Before You Die, or perhaps its cousin 1001 Quarterly Press Releases You Must Sneer at Before You Die.

Then of course, there are the old standbys like "1001 Unremarkable Hedge Fund Managers Whose Funds Will Disappear Before You Die," and "1001 Expensive and Duplicative Closet Index Funds to Keep Out of Your Estate Before You Die."


Pamela said...

1001 Things You Must Say On A Conference Call Before You Die

Tahoe Kid said...

1001 Newspapers to read before THEY die.

whydibuy said...

“ why not make the acts a little more socially relevant and easier to accomplish…..1001 politicians to avoid before you die “

Contrasting the hyper activity required for the former to do list, Jeff then advocates total apathy for an arena where you should stay active , namely politics. If you don’t like the way things are going, you get involved. ( Although not the way they do it in Pakistan ) Jeff confuses silly, trivial activities with those that ARE important.

Joshua Druce said...

1001 publishing ideas to bleed dry before you die?

reeb said...

1001 ways to play russian roulette before you die

tech98 said...

1001 Hedge Funds that will soon die
1001 Wall Street bullish cliches that deserve to die

Anonymous said...

Whydibuy said..." Jeff confuses silly, trivial activities with those that ARE important."

I don't think it's confusing what's important and what's not but finding the humor in the serious topics to keep from losing ones mind. Besides, making topics open for discussion, even if their brought about by frivolity, can invite the seriousness of the conversation to shine through.

1001 People you must ignore before you die.

j.a.y said...

- 1001 Charities you must give to when you die

- 1001 Volunteer acts you must do before you die

Unknown said...

1001 (im)poster identities that you must be aware of (so that you may expeditiously skip their self-aggrandizing comments which often divert an otherwise quality blog thread) before you die